Let's Go Back to the Future

Who would have thought an 80's movie could have such an impact?

I love the Back to the Future movies. What fun. What a treat. I thought once that I would become a movie critic because I had seen so many movies in my youth.

We had a movie theater that had current movies for $3 and popcorn and a drink also cost $3. That fit on my tiny teenage budget. Movies were my getaway. My holidays. My weekends. 

I knew movies were not real and just enjoyed them as entertainment, and escape. Today as a writer, I look back at my movie days and understand that a story is a combination of character and plot. Movies were a great way to learn what works and does not work when building your own fantasy world.

I am very grateful to live the day Marty McFly came to in the future. Chronic and disabling illnesses make everyday feel like you have no future, but today marks a significant change in history. Now we can see how far we have come and yet to go. 

And, where is my flying car anyway?

Have a great and wonderful future day!

Critical Acclaim, Future with a Hint of Hope

I have been going through my writings and I have discovered many positive critiques to my writing. 

That feels so good. Now I have to revise and edit so I can get my writings published. It will feel good again to be apart of the world. 

I do have some chapbooks full of poetry I can publish. Then the fiction stories are next. I have so much writing to go through and edit that reading over more of my writing will take a few more months. See I was doing something will I wasn't posting. 

That and I was ill. Chronic illness, the one thing that I can truly count on. ;) 

So have a happy hump day and keep coming back as I keep updating and publishing more of my original works.

TGIF or Whatever the Flipping Day It Is

Since becoming ill, days seems to run together. I have to constantly check a clock and/or calendar just to keep up.

Time distortion has become a routine occurrence for me. It's like an alien abduction but without all the experience to make a best selling novel. I have missed minutes, hours, and my favorite: days. WTF? 

Brain inflammation, what a wonderful way to spend the last remnants of my life.

I usually watch a television show a night to keep me on target. When shows go on hiatus for movie events, specials, or holidays, I get screwed up. With nothing on Fridays, Saturdays, or Sundays, I have to find new and inventive ways to tell time. 

Sometimes losing time is a blessing in disguise. 

When I feel or believe I have more time than I have, I can enjoy myself more in the moment. I can get lost in a painting or movie or ebook or poetry. Lost is sometimes the greatest direction in your life.

Even though I have time to be lost, it does not mean my time as a wanderer is less meaningful, it just means I know the value of time. 

Value is different than price. My illness is a price. Value is how I chose to live it.

Have a great Friday!!!

OMG, The Sky is Falling... NOT!

Today was kind of sluggish. The blue sky turned lined and hazy thanks to the chemtrails. So sad. My city is maligned with poisons and no one does anything to stop it.

All the dew is gone from my grass and plants. That is how I know our atmosphere is being messed with, the natural order is out of order. I wish someone would halt this brainless activity.

When the lines of chemicals start penetrating the lower levels of the atmosphere, all of a sudden, I cannot breathe. So I end up inside watching a beautiful day turn into a planet dimming, engineered nightmare. Thanks, global-warming/climate change liars. You are ruining a perfectly good planet, and my days, over nothing. Idiots!

Before the day was lost, I did clean around the house. So at least I got something accomplished. My cracked and bleeding hands will attest that I did in fact clean.

Ray, my old white cat, was sleeping on the couch covering his nose like his face was cold. He ventured into bed with me. He must be cold. He is resting on my legs where he usually sleeps at the end of the bed on a pillow or cover.

Oh, Ray just left me. Obviously some pertinent kitty cat business especially since some of the kittens awoke when I placed my dinner dishes in the sink. Then curiosity was peaked and tails emerged from the darkness... the land sharks moved around the living room as if their prey was not alerted to their presence.

Sounds like a book in the making to me! 

If only I would keep from falling asleep during prime time hours on the television. Granted most of my shows are on hiatus, but beginning next week, my shows are new again. I guess I should try nap time a few hours earlier so I can stay up to watch my shows.

Then I can start finding a few hours to start writing fiction again. 

Well once my medical condition allows for better brain concentration. I still cannot write or think with music or television on, so I have to work in complete silence.  Now that's annoying as all get out. 

So here's to rock'n'roll dreams and hazy nightmares. 

Have a great and wonderful night!

Clutter, Minimalism, and Harmony: Guess What's Hitting the Trash?

You don't know how much crap you have until you go through it. 

I have been on a tear, which for me is nowhere near light speed, for a while now to clean, organize, and harmonize. Once I began meditating and clearing out the old mindset, I have just trashed things I didn't want, weren't mine, and shouldn't have. All gone.

Trash day is Friday in my neighborhood and sometimes I wonder if my bin can be lifted by the city vehicles! Yet, each time they are with ease. I pack so much clutter in there that the lid isn't perfectly sealed down.

I am in a phase of my life where I don't want the things that I own to own me. Minimalistic, symmetrical, and harmonious. If I do not have a place for it, I will stash it in my china closet or somewhere else safe for a while. If I am unable to find a home in the grand scheme of my decor, then off to the thrift shop it goes! 

January is another bulk trash month. I have some things in the back yard that are going to see the curb. Good-bye!

I don't want to deal with clutter. I don't have to. That is the best part: I do not have to! 

I want to walk into any room in my house and know that everything has its place and everything is in its place. 

It's a great way to view life. I did the collecting and the pretties. It never satisfied me the way an easy flow decor does because the energy doesn't weigh me down.

I still have years to go to perfect my little world, but that's the funnest part: shopping! Online (mostly) or in person, I can decide what will work and what doesn't. I decide my pace and budget!

Well, I've done enough writing for one evening. I listened to lectures online again today. I have to relearn everything I used to know and then it still doesn't remain in my synapses. That's the thing about chronic illness: you can't count on anything. 

Yet, I had a good day. I slept in. I ate. I played and petted my kitties. I organized. I dusted. I listened to music on the radio. 

Tomorrow, I probably will have to recuperate from my "good" day. Okay, the rest of the week too. OMG, I used to go 18 hours a day. Now I sleep it and still find time for a two hour nap!

I hope everyone has a great night and rest of the weekend! 

Proof, Placebo, and the Earth Effect

My brain is fried. I did too much watching of scientific research videos online. Oopsy!

From quantum physics to comparative mythology to Earthing, I have done it all and boy, am I tired. I didn't realize all these disciplines had opened up and now are talking to each other. I wish there had been more cross collaboration when I was in college.

Well, I did take a lot of classes. I felt that I had broached nearly every subject that was offered until I had to specialize. I remember taking a year off community college in order to take classes I didn't need for my associate degrees before I moved onto my bachelor's degree. 

Before I was made ill by my former employer, I was in the middle of attaining three associates and two (at least) certificates. Learning for me is no more difficult than breathing... until my body collapsed under the weight of heavy metal poisoning.

There is nothing fun about gasping to breathe for years.

So when I get excited that I had a good brain day, now you know why. I have spent too many days not having a well functioning brain because of the constant inflammation my body produces because of the toxic overload it possesses. 

One thing I did find information about is Earthing. I like energy work. Grounding oneself metaphysically as well as other energy healing modalities are interesting and produce results for me.

I don't want to be broken anymore. I don't have millions of dollars to get me well again, so I have to do it the slow, old fashion way.

With Earthing, all I have to do is find some grass or earth, stand there in my bare feet, and soak up the energy from the ground and sun. That, I can do. That is easy.

This afternoon I went out and stood in some grass coming up in my decorative river rock. I stood.   One of my outdoor cats came to see what I was doing.  James just lounged around as I felt the Earth under my feet. 

Funny thing was the inflammation I have been experiencing subsided for all the time I was outside and a half hour after I returned inside. I will keep seeing if this procedure works or not. I am a scientist at heart. I want proof, not placebo. 

One thing when I started this journey of self healing is that I wanted to see real results. Results I could pass onto others with MCS/EI/Mold. Knowledge is good. Healing is better. Free is the best, but results are king.

I can't wait for my brain to heal good enough for me to start writing books on my experiences.

Wouldn't success fly in the convention of serious illness? I hope so. I have a lot of people to show that you can hit me, kick me, and beat me down... but I will ALWAYS get back up again...

Don't you feel that way some days too?

Have a great and wonderful night!

Home Alone for the Holidays

That is one thing that upsets me about the holidays. Since I am chronically ill and no one wants to help me out: I am home alone for the holidays.

I have always been ultra responsible. Clean. Non-smoker. No drugs. No alcohol. 

I have taken care of everyone one else including their messes. When the tables were turned, good bye! and good luck! 

Even now I take care of other people's cats in the neighborhood. The man next door trapped and spayed a mother cat and her three babies. Then he stopped caring for them. One was so skinny and sickly, I scrounged up some food to give to her. Another sibling was ill and I had to give her up, my service cat, to the Humane Society to fix up and adopt out. (I so mourn for her everyday.) 

Then there's the man's renter. A drug addict with AIDS who doesn't help me out even when I demanded him to do so. I am left holding the bag and his grey, long-haired Russian Blue calico cat.

Four, 16lb bags of dry cat food, five bags of natural litter, and sixty cans of wet food a month to keep up everyone's cats on the block. Perhaps I should start a donation site and link it here so I can see if anyone can help me before I have to send half away to the Humane Society. I just cannot keep up.

So as I lay here in bed trying to stay warm, I am alone. The cats I do have inside love sleeping on my couches. They are great couches by the way, which I cover with towels. 

When my family left me, they left me with nothing. Literally. I had a bed, desk, computer chair. I believe that was all. They took everything else in the house including the appliances. 

My family was trying to further debase, torture, and punish me for being chronically and devastatingly ill. Part of which was their fault. They made me ill with black mold from a leaky sink. 

After not telling me for two years of the leak, I had to call for a handyman while I was trying to recover from the pesticide poisoning from my former employer... I was not a well woman to be doing anything. So my family left the black mold to grow in the particle board for seven months after I fixed the leak.

By the way, it takes less than an hour to remove the particle board from a sink cupboard... but that was too much to ask of my family.

By then, I was skeletal, allergic to practically everything because my immune system was already collapsed from the mercury poisoning. It just keeps getting better and better, doesn't it?

My inheritance was also confiscated by my family as I guess payment of taking care of me when I had taken care of them for over ten years. My bills apparently weren't as important as their bills. 

So I am here. I should probably get out my copy of Home Alone just to cheer me up. Well, that's if I still have it and it too wasn't already confiscated like so many of my other possessions were. 

OMG, how depressing... I must find something good.

I did get furniture eventually when I received my disability. I discovered I didn't have to go into chemical laden stores to shop for furniture. I was so happy! 

I found a furniture store across town that was an outlet of sorts. I got a beautiful two-tone dining table, six chairs, a couch, and sofa for a very reasonable price. Good furniture too. I believe it is called Ashley Signature Furniture. Of course, I paid the close-out prices! I didn't have much to spend. 

I did find another online store with discounted furniture and got a wonderful bedroom set. I never had a bedroom set before. It's the warm dark cherry wood. 

Okay, I turned the bad into good. Wheew! That was a close one. 

So I better go harass my kitties, steal one to watch a movie with me as I cannot wait to sleep to see if Sugar Plums really do dance in our heads!

Have a great and wonderful night! 

P.S... my Home Alone dvd is missing ;(

Have a Very, Merry Spring?

Today it was warm. Tomorrow and the rest of this week will be in the lower 70's. Yippee! 

Since I am chronically ill, my body cannot regulate its own temperature that well. Anything below 90 and I am breaking out the winter wear. As long as the house gets warm during autumn and winter afternoons, I am pretty well set to do some household chores. 

Then as the sun sets, I take a shower and jump into bed. The cats get fed on or before dusk until the warmer temperatures of spring hit. 

Right now as I type this post from my heavily blanketed bed, my feet are ice cold, my fingers tingle, my head hurts, and my eyesight is blurry. I do need new glasses but it's the roving migraine that I contend with nearly daily that puts pressure on the optic nerve and creates this vision problem.

Could be worse. I could have not learned to touch type and this post would be unreadable. I also increase the magnification on the pages so I can read bigger lettering. The red underlines of typing errors helps too.

As our weather stabilizes and we remain warm and dry, I will be getting to more of my house as the days commence. An hour of housework can create a happy area of cleanliness. 

When the 90's return. so will the cleaning of the area rugs. I don't have carpet or tile because I am allergic to the chemicals. I have carefully laid out rugs. Vacuuming them does produce a breathing reaction even with my carbon mask on, but in the winter it is a necessity.

But it sure does not feel like winter, which is fine by me. The last few winters have been very cold with hard freezes and bushes being burned back. Not a fun sight. I rather have a mild winter so the humming birds can drink the nectar from my Golden Dew Drops' violet and white flowers. 

So this week is a very, merry spring. 

And no... you can keep your snow. I lived in Iowa before and you can still keep the snow. I live in the desert and I am happy.

Have a great one!