When You Wish and Hope

I had a fantastic evening last night stargazing. 

I even saw a shooting star. What made the experience that much more special is when I looked online and discovered the remnants of Comet Ison could have made the meteorite particles 

I'm going to go out again and see if another shooting star crosses my path. I have wishes to make. I wish I could get well. I wish I could help others like I used to do. I wish I could be a lecturer and exhibiting artist again. I wish... I wish.. I wish.

It seems like when I lay in bed on lethargic days like this one looking up at the ceiling that I do a lot of wishing. I wish people would know what pesticides do and stop using them. I wish others would try to understand how living in a bubble is not fun. How I wish I knew the right words to convince people not to be so callous.

But that is what shooting stars are for: hope. I hope that one day others will see the damage poisons do and no longer accept them as part of society. 

Wishes and hopes... those ideas are better than anger and bitterness. 

I lived there once. Never again. No one is going to interfere with my dreams. 

When's the last time you wished upon a star? Come out and enjoy the night with me...

Outgrowing the need for love? It's exhausting

That vitamin powder must be working, I vacuumed and swept today while I had a load of towels and dishes going in the other rooms. I like days like today. Once and a while, chronic fatigue takes a sick day and I am able to be a normal person for a few hours. 

Then, of course, I end up in bed for a few days recovering from the sudden burst of energy. Even the positive days become damned if you do or damned if you don't, but that's what happens with chronic illness.

I have a new cat outside and here I am trying to adopt out some eight month old, spayed and neutered kittens. Lovely bunch, but too much for me to handle any more, physically and financially. Sometimes I think the universe likes to play sick jokes on people in an vain attempt at cosmic humor. Dude, I'm not laughing... I have plenty of cats already. Stop it.

This is supposed be an old folks home, not Cattery 101. 

I guess the universe knew I needed some love and a family of my own. I love them all very dearly. Unfortunately there comes a time when the babies must leave the nest. I'm afraid mine have all outgrown my place and need somewhere of their own. 

Like all caretakers, if you love them, you must set them free. I'll have to begin the depressing process of finding homes for my little creatures. Then I will have empty nest syndrome after the house goes quiet.

I'll mope. I'll cry. I'll wonder why I am unloved and alone...

Then the universe will send me a new batch and you know I cannot say "no" to baby kitties.

What am I ever going to do with myself? 

Have a great and wonderful evening!    

Information is Nice, If It Doesn't Rot Your Brain

Information is a curse. It's like truth. First you seek it and then it pisses you off. 

I was reading about how this guy went mountain climbing and now the glacier had receded and soon it would be gone... Dude, that's what glaciers do. Take a geology course or two.  Then you will understand why I hate the lies of Global Warming/Climate Change.

Once you learn the truth about how these fake so-called human caused disasters are being used to social engineering people's behavior and fund United Nations initiatives like Common Core and Sustainability, you cannot unlearn the information. 

You just sit and stew. 

So I wrote the guy's editor. I doubt if the information will get anywhere. I swear, people do not go out and do their own research. They believe whatever dunce head is on television. Or in his case, whomever he talked to in the pseudo science lab department of the local nuttery.

That is why I am glad I got rid of cable. For one, I couldn't afford it any longer. Two, I have more time to do things I want to do... like take naps, play with the kitties, and write letters to the editor, apparently. 

OMFG, I really did come unglued, but I remained professional in my correspondence, well, to the best of my ability anyway.

Some people's children! 

Speaking of other people's kids, the kitties are all asleep. I too am ready for bed. All my energy got expended pissed off and writing that online magazine.

I better rest up. I have a busy day doing dishes and laundry tomorrow... and some outdoor stuff while it is warm in the afternoon. 

Nighty night, fellow thought criminals! ;)

TGIF or Whatever the Flipping Day It Is

Since becoming ill, days seems to run together. I have to constantly check a clock and/or calendar just to keep up.

Time distortion has become a routine occurrence for me. It's like an alien abduction but without all the experience to make a best selling novel. I have missed minutes, hours, and my favorite: days. WTF? 

Brain inflammation, what a wonderful way to spend the last remnants of my life.

I usually watch a television show a night to keep me on target. When shows go on hiatus for movie events, specials, or holidays, I get screwed up. With nothing on Fridays, Saturdays, or Sundays, I have to find new and inventive ways to tell time. 

Sometimes losing time is a blessing in disguise. 

When I feel or believe I have more time than I have, I can enjoy myself more in the moment. I can get lost in a painting or movie or ebook or poetry. Lost is sometimes the greatest direction in your life.

Even though I have time to be lost, it does not mean my time as a wanderer is less meaningful, it just means I know the value of time. 

Value is different than price. My illness is a price. Value is how I chose to live it.

Have a great Friday!!!

OMG, The Sky is Falling... NOT!

Today was kind of sluggish. The blue sky turned lined and hazy thanks to the chemtrails. So sad. My city is maligned with poisons and no one does anything to stop it.

All the dew is gone from my grass and plants. That is how I know our atmosphere is being messed with, the natural order is out of order. I wish someone would halt this brainless activity.

When the lines of chemicals start penetrating the lower levels of the atmosphere, all of a sudden, I cannot breathe. So I end up inside watching a beautiful day turn into a planet dimming, engineered nightmare. Thanks, global-warming/climate change liars. You are ruining a perfectly good planet, and my days, over nothing. Idiots!

Before the day was lost, I did clean around the house. So at least I got something accomplished. My cracked and bleeding hands will attest that I did in fact clean.

Ray, my old white cat, was sleeping on the couch covering his nose like his face was cold. He ventured into bed with me. He must be cold. He is resting on my legs where he usually sleeps at the end of the bed on a pillow or cover.

Oh, Ray just left me. Obviously some pertinent kitty cat business especially since some of the kittens awoke when I placed my dinner dishes in the sink. Then curiosity was peaked and tails emerged from the darkness... the land sharks moved around the living room as if their prey was not alerted to their presence.

Sounds like a book in the making to me! 

If only I would keep from falling asleep during prime time hours on the television. Granted most of my shows are on hiatus, but beginning next week, my shows are new again. I guess I should try nap time a few hours earlier so I can stay up to watch my shows.

Then I can start finding a few hours to start writing fiction again. 

Well once my medical condition allows for better brain concentration. I still cannot write or think with music or television on, so I have to work in complete silence.  Now that's annoying as all get out. 

So here's to rock'n'roll dreams and hazy nightmares. 

Have a great and wonderful night!

In Search Of: The Great American... Vitamin?

My Emergen-C Multivitamin was discontinued. I have been researching and trying to find a replacement this last month. Boy, has my body been a tyrant!

I cannot focus to meditate as well as I was a few weeks ago, my body has been fighting me about eating, and just the general malaise. Well, I was taking the packets three times a day with my other regular Emergen-C packets so I can function a few hours a day.

I went to the Vitamin Shoppe online where I buy some of my supplements. I discovered a powder multivitamin, mineral, and amino acid complex. At first, my body was: wtf? but now it seems to really like the vitamin, pharmacy tasting powder.

Finally. I mix the powder with some pineapple juice and we're good.

My only wish is that I could find one without Iron in it so I can take it as many times a day as I need it. I'm still researching to find something to compliment my entire regimen of vitamins and supplements.

I want to begin feeling better. I hate being tried and ill. It really is no fun. 

I did get the dishes done today, which is great. I get to eat dinner tonight on a plate! That is always helpful. I haven't decided what is for dinner so I guess I better go look in the freezer and pantry isles of my house. 

Then it's time for bed. The vitamins have made me spunk up and then crash right afterward. I hope the spunk takes on a life of its own so I can be more active during the day. 

I can't write that Great American Novel if I'm asleep in bed. 

 

Living the Vida Kitty

I never thought in all my life that I would be sleeping as much as my cats. 

I have so much to do and not enough money to do it... or any energy even if I was flush.

There is a virus going around that knocks you down, then a bacteria gets into your chest, and then the virus comes back to finish you off. That is literal. I have heard of others dying of this so-called flu, but I don't think it's the regular flu.

I know I have it. I have mucous  in my throat and chest; post nasal drip, chills, over sleeping... the works!

The illness began back in December, I fought it back with vitamin C packets and raw organic garlic but it came back this month. Well, I went out grocery shopping and that will get you every time! 

So I'm back on the vitamin C and garlic.

I' beat a similar infection/virus last year. It's just that if you don't take care of yourself and increase your supplements, and garlic, you can put yourself at undue risk.

This afternoon, I fell asleep listening to an online newscast I like to watch every week. I got onto myself, then I realized: if you are falling asleep for little reason then you are probably a lot sicker than you think you are.

For this weekend then I am going to live the Vida Kitty. I'll go get warm in the sun in the afternoons but for the rest of the time: it's bed rest, liquids, online television shows, supplements and garlic as far as the eye can see. 

I hope by next week this chapter of fuzzy mittens and luluabies is over. I have bulk trash to get out by the curb and I can't annoy the neighbors with a trash heap if I'm coughing up a lung.

Stay safe and be well!

Baked Chicken and Brown Rice

Is there anything better than chicken and rice swimming in chicken broth, butter, salt and pepper?

I don't think so. I bake a chicken a couple times a month like I do a roast. Meatloaf, I don't have to get my hands dirty. I discovered my local health food grocery store makes a meatloaf that is so good that it does not last a day in this house.

I buy the meatloaf raw and bake it when I get home. Lord, have mercy! With mash potatoes and some vegetables, I am in heaven!

So baked chicken, roast, meatloaf... omg, now you've made me hungry again! 

Even though I cannot eat at restaurants, I have discovered that I can bring home some already prepared meals. PF Chang's has spring rolls and sweet and sour chicken when I need a Chinese food fix. When this brand is on sale, watch out! I will mow you down for it!

I hope you realize I am kidding about the mowing down of people. ;) 

I also can have a Starbucks when necessary, but not too often because it has too much sugar in it, and Papa John's pizza. 

Sometimes when the immune system behaves, I can be a normal person. Well except for my keyboard's missing "p". I have to copy and paste the letter over and over again. Thank you, kitties for dumping my keyboard on the floor. 

One day I will find that letter "p". 

I only hope it is not with vacuum sweeper. 

Have a great and wonderful night! 

Celebrations with Libations

It's New Year's Eve 2013! I cannot believe it.

No, really, I cannot believe I am alive. Abandoned and left for dead by my family nearly three years ago, I am astonished I have made it this far. 

As a survivor, I understand how I could. I am strong. I am independent (within reason). I am happy!

Every New Year, I feel like I have graduated into the next level of existence. It doesn't matter if I am rich or poor. It only matters that I am alive and (somewhat) able. 

I have my little fur family and we are happy. 

Happy is the key word. Without happiness, I would become a bitter, enraged old woman. Why let negative people win?

Some people will always be small minded, immature jerks. With what little time I have left, I don't want to waste a second on someone(s) like that. 

Would you?

So when making your New Year's Resolutions this night make sure to list items and goals that will make you happy. In the end, it's not about anyone else. It is about you.

My advice: be happy. 

Like John Lennon said: When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy.’ They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life.

Thank you for your patronage! See you next year ;)

Migraines and Karma are Bitches

There is one thing in life that I despise more than peas and lima beans... any guesses? It's migraines. 

I had a nice one yesterday morning, which carried over into this afternoon. Usually one of my migraines is about detoxing or weather patterns. So I'm guessing a detox reaction. 

Great. Swell. Better out than in!

The cats didn't care until this morning when I did not get out of bed and open up the curtains for their viewing pleasure. So I got played on, meowed at, and otherwise terrorized by the furry inhabitants of my home. 

But I have a cure for incessant negative behaviors and that is the squirt bottle full of water. Don't tell Jackson Galaxy! When you can't hardly move and you need some peace and quiet... the squirt bottle is the best option.

People tend to frown upon murder and it almost came to that this morning. My migraines are so painful that they not only raise my body temperature, they inflame my senses: so I cannot stand light or sound.

That's okay, my vision is so blurry I cannot get around well anyway. That means: no television, no reading, no nothing. 

And sound? Everything feels like a drum on my body. Even the slightest touch can feel like a heavy brick chaffing my skin and bruising my muscles.

What a nice gift mercury and black mold gives to the body. Since I cannot take any pain medications, I'm totally allergic to most OTC and Rx drugs, I have to lay quietly and still with ice all over my head, neck and sometimes shoulders and back. My muscles tense up so badly in my legs that I can get charlie horses and other cramps while I am trying to get past the migraine.

I even have melted ice so fast that I have had to change out water for cubes almost hourly. 

Thank you to everyone who poisoned me. What a joy it is to be in that much pain several times a month. You should try blinding pain sometime. It really is great.

Do they care? Hell no.

That's the great thing about karma. Once you've done something so offensive, it's kind of difficult to relieve yourself of galactic payback. So they might not receive migraines. It might be a car crash injury or cancer. Always the balance must be restored on the cosmic scale. 

Even when you think karma is finished with you, here she comes again!

My illness and maybe even karma was not because of some offense, but because I believed that people would do right by me as I had done with them. Silly me. What was I thinking?

So I lay here hoping the pain in my temple is not another migraine coming on. 

I think back to the way I picked up nails in my boss's parking space on a near daily basis, warned people when the cleaning crew used a dirty chemical rag to wash out their coffee pot, helped people out when I did not have to, and took in my family when they had nowhere else to go.

And I think how stupid I was to believe that when you do right, right is returned to you. 

It seems the only constant in life is karma and am I forever paying for my good deeds.

Isn't that a bummer?