Technology is My Drug of Choice

There's nothing like getting yourself back into a state of euphoria.

I got my laptop and cpu monitor on my desk again. That makes my life less complicated. Granted, the technology of the laptop is a few years older than dirt and the Dell cpu is from the Jurassic era, but at least I can write on one computer and research with the other. (My tech is refurbed stuff so it's basically worthless to anyone but me.) A seamless transition of ideas. At least, it's the theory.

You don't know how much I have missed the ability to multitask. 

Well, with brain inflammation, it is more like being reminded of what you are supposed to be doing by looking at the other monitor! 

I do need new mice and keyboards. So some upgrades in the future are going to be necessary for my writing sanity. Still, I think I have what I need to do what I need to do... at least for the time being. 

Now that I am set, I hope to update this blog a little more. I just have to get used to the computer chair. It hurts my back and lungs to sit up right. My muscles are not strong enough to support my skeleton yet.

I guess it's time to raid the bedroom closet for some pillows and a cushion!

Have a great and wonderful holiday weekend! 

Why Does Society Smell like Whores?

Could someone please tell me why you all must spray items, and yourselves, down with smelly, horrible poisons?

I'm dying out here.

Since my liver cannot filter and breakdown chemicals properly, perfumed products cause substantial breathing problems. I'm still tight in the chest from an incident that took place an hour ago.

If you value your health, loved ones, or life, then stop trying to smell like a whore house. 

I gave up commercial cleaners, laundry soap, softeners, perfumes, body sprays... all long time ago. Now when I go out into public, I find that most people smell disgusting from all the crap they wear in their clothes, hair, and personage. 

For real, you guys smell terrible.

If I need to make something smell better, I use water and vinegar in a squirt bottle. I use vinegar in my rinse cycle for clothes and dishes. I save so much money using vinegar that I think all of you are crazy not to be using it!

I also use Free and Clear 7th Generation laundry soap and Free and Clear Method dishwashing tabs too. For deodorant, I use my chlorophyll for internal odor control (which helps externally) and pascalite bentonite clay for the outside (to keep my dry). I'm pretty much smell free and poison free.

So the next time you go to the store and reach for those commercial detergents, just remember those manufacturers aren't going to pay for your inflammatory induced diseases or your time off work because your immune system does not function properly in a few years.

Take it from me: the Woman who lives in a Bubble, it's not fun or glamorous to be this ill. 

Now to wash my new-ish curtains over and over again until I can stand to be in the same room with them... eewww!!!   

OMG, The Sky is Falling... NOT!

Today was kind of sluggish. The blue sky turned lined and hazy thanks to the chemtrails. So sad. My city is maligned with poisons and no one does anything to stop it.

All the dew is gone from my grass and plants. That is how I know our atmosphere is being messed with, the natural order is out of order. I wish someone would halt this brainless activity.

When the lines of chemicals start penetrating the lower levels of the atmosphere, all of a sudden, I cannot breathe. So I end up inside watching a beautiful day turn into a planet dimming, engineered nightmare. Thanks, global-warming/climate change liars. You are ruining a perfectly good planet, and my days, over nothing. Idiots!

Before the day was lost, I did clean around the house. So at least I got something accomplished. My cracked and bleeding hands will attest that I did in fact clean.

Ray, my old white cat, was sleeping on the couch covering his nose like his face was cold. He ventured into bed with me. He must be cold. He is resting on my legs where he usually sleeps at the end of the bed on a pillow or cover.

Oh, Ray just left me. Obviously some pertinent kitty cat business especially since some of the kittens awoke when I placed my dinner dishes in the sink. Then curiosity was peaked and tails emerged from the darkness... the land sharks moved around the living room as if their prey was not alerted to their presence.

Sounds like a book in the making to me! 

If only I would keep from falling asleep during prime time hours on the television. Granted most of my shows are on hiatus, but beginning next week, my shows are new again. I guess I should try nap time a few hours earlier so I can stay up to watch my shows.

Then I can start finding a few hours to start writing fiction again. 

Well once my medical condition allows for better brain concentration. I still cannot write or think with music or television on, so I have to work in complete silence.  Now that's annoying as all get out. 

So here's to rock'n'roll dreams and hazy nightmares. 

Have a great and wonderful night!

Proof, Placebo, and the Earth Effect

My brain is fried. I did too much watching of scientific research videos online. Oopsy!

From quantum physics to comparative mythology to Earthing, I have done it all and boy, am I tired. I didn't realize all these disciplines had opened up and now are talking to each other. I wish there had been more cross collaboration when I was in college.

Well, I did take a lot of classes. I felt that I had broached nearly every subject that was offered until I had to specialize. I remember taking a year off community college in order to take classes I didn't need for my associate degrees before I moved onto my bachelor's degree. 

Before I was made ill by my former employer, I was in the middle of attaining three associates and two (at least) certificates. Learning for me is no more difficult than breathing... until my body collapsed under the weight of heavy metal poisoning.

There is nothing fun about gasping to breathe for years.

So when I get excited that I had a good brain day, now you know why. I have spent too many days not having a well functioning brain because of the constant inflammation my body produces because of the toxic overload it possesses. 

One thing I did find information about is Earthing. I like energy work. Grounding oneself metaphysically as well as other energy healing modalities are interesting and produce results for me.

I don't want to be broken anymore. I don't have millions of dollars to get me well again, so I have to do it the slow, old fashion way.

With Earthing, all I have to do is find some grass or earth, stand there in my bare feet, and soak up the energy from the ground and sun. That, I can do. That is easy.

This afternoon I went out and stood in some grass coming up in my decorative river rock. I stood.   One of my outdoor cats came to see what I was doing.  James just lounged around as I felt the Earth under my feet. 

Funny thing was the inflammation I have been experiencing subsided for all the time I was outside and a half hour after I returned inside. I will keep seeing if this procedure works or not. I am a scientist at heart. I want proof, not placebo. 

One thing when I started this journey of self healing is that I wanted to see real results. Results I could pass onto others with MCS/EI/Mold. Knowledge is good. Healing is better. Free is the best, but results are king.

I can't wait for my brain to heal good enough for me to start writing books on my experiences.

Wouldn't success fly in the convention of serious illness? I hope so. I have a lot of people to show that you can hit me, kick me, and beat me down... but I will ALWAYS get back up again...

Don't you feel that way some days too?

Have a great and wonderful night!

Afternoon Naps and Other Forms of Healing

Even for adults studies have shown that naps in the afternoon are great for the body, mind, soul, and spirit. 

I now have to take daily naps. Two or three hours in addition to the twelve to sixteen I sleep daily makes for a short day. Chronic fatigue is a symptom of my MCS/EI/Mold illnesses.  

It's a tough pill to swallow even if I am allergic to most pharmaceuticals.  I like when I have the energy to get something done. Often, I have to budget my time and make command decisions on what can and cannot be done in a day. 

Some chores get sacrificed for others. Dishes... I hate dishes especially since my hands are dry, cracked, and bleeding most of the time. My body cannot keep oil in itself so water and soap make a bad situation even worse. Laundry is pretty simple. Vacuuming once a week. Dusting is whenever.

Since I require a lot of fresh air from open windows, dust accumulates. Welcome to the desert! So dusting is not a task I put much stock into. It gets done when it gets done. 

When my windows are not open, I must rely on my air cleaners. That is: heavy duty air cleaners. These cleaners run all day and night, windows opened or closed plus I have a MERV 12 air filter in my heatpump unit. 

It is not my lungs per se; it is my liver. The mold and mercury inside my body hiding in organs and other tissues as well as in bonded molecular components eats up my sulfur, antioxidants, and methyl groups. I must also eat protein all day in order to assist my liver in maintaining some type of control (and we haven't even covered the renal damage from black mold found in my kidneys). 

Without my liver stabilized, I am unable to breathe properly and I require oxygen supplementation. The liver does many great tasks for the body. One of which is breaking down harmful substances into non-harmful substances. When my body has to concentrate on the already high amount of toxins and biotoxins in me, my liver cannot self-regulate. So I become allergic to the air I breathe, water I drink, and food I eat. 

Scary.

For instance, a few weeks ago I had a tablespoon of buttermilk ranch and had a severe allergic reaction while I was eating a tomato. I had had ranch for months without an issue, but that night my body decided that a line had been crossed. I have no idea how or why but regular ranch dressing is okay and buttermilk ranch is not. 

Talk about frustrating. I have to wait for my body to stop reacting until I can even try a tomato again or risk a permanent allergy. Isn't chronic illness wonderful?!

Now try to explain this scenario to people who do not have these types of sudden and unclear reactions. Others try to understand but then stop because it is easier to label someone crazy, insane, or psychotic than to realize the symptoms are real and part of a larger toxic cascade happening in the body. 

I have had the experience of knowing and living with people who rather bully you, isolate you, and threaten institutionalization instead of doing the right thing. Right being: researching the issue within the community that has said medical problems, finding the best course of treatment, and following through by getting the patient to the right physician. 

Sounds simple, right? Do the right thing by another person. 

As a former caretaker of my elderly mother, I always did the right thing by the person I was taking care of. When the roles were reversed, my parental unit and siblings decided to ignore the medical issues in lieu of scare tactics. 

Because of course someone that sick cannot possibly be mentally stable. 

Truth be told: the people who neglect, abuse, and torture someone who is physically, medically, or mentally ill are not only criminals but are morally and ethically corrupt to the point beyond rehabilitation.

In order to combat the cyclical night terrors associated with being terrorized, I have discovered meditation. Guided meditations on youtube and other free websites have become routine and helpful. I am glad I found them.

Rewiring a damaged/injured brain due to lack of medical attention is essential to combating reactionary impulses in the primitive brain. Plus I have cognitive issues as well as Central Nervous System damage stemming from systematic inflammation. 

I may not be able to drive, remember much in my short term memory, or use hand-eye coordination, but I am finding new and unorthodox ways to recreate neural pathways so I may recover some of what was lost over the past five years.