Undawnted Pages

Saturday, December 21, 2013

Happy Yule Tidings

December 21st is the customary day of celebration for Yule. It's supposed to be the shortest day of the year. With the long night, the land lays fallow waiting for the warmth of the spring to come.

Pagans have celebrated this day of death and rebirth for as long as humans have marked the cycles. 

Other religions have taken the holiday and made it their own through political and religious might. So we have holiday after holiday during the winter season. 

I enjoy celebrating today because it feels purer than other days. I am not brainwashed to believe in a birth I know did not happen until March or pressured into being like everyone else. I can be me and celebrate what I chose, when I chose to do it.

Yule for me is about saying good-bye to the old. I have a lot of old to say good-bye to too. This year I have become quite independent as a disabled American. I have my ups and downs, my bad days and my good days. Everyday I am grateful that I can be who I am without ridicule, pressure, or disrespect from others. 

I am very ill. Nothing is really going to change that aspect of my life. There is only so many times your immune system can be collapsed, your liver compromised, your renal system infected, and your digestive system attacked to notice that your nervous system, heart, and lungs do not work as they should any longer.

Even though I am in bed more hours of the day than I am in motion, I still am grateful for every day that I am here. I have a lot to do! I am doing my art and writing my books. 

I am doubly grateful to be the editor and staff writer for my community online newspaper: the Villa de Paz Gazette. I only hope to continue writing great articles that impact the way people perceive reality. 

I am also helping my community fight off a vulture capitalist that wants to destroy our golf course for a housing development. It's nice to be back in the saddle again, even if it's a kid's pony ride. 

Yule like other holidays should bring out the best in you. 

Be happy. Be grateful. Be open. 

The universe is watching and waiting for you to open up to the possibilities that await. So take some time this busy holiday season and make a list. Check it twice. List all the things you are grateful for. 

With joy and gratitude in your heart, nothing is impossible: including a miraculous recovery...

What Happiness is About

Joy for some people is strange...

I for one didn't understand what being happy truly meant. When I began this process of meditation and rediscovery, I had never been happy except for a few fleeting moments over the course of my life.

Today, it's different. I like not having the burden of other people's bad deeds to weigh on me... It's not my responsibility to carry other people on my back, in my mind, heart, or soul.

Even the other day, I had to deal with someone who didn't understand what it is to be grateful. The universe has taught me how to deal with people like that and move on... and that's exactly what I did. In my other life, I would have tried to placate them because I was a bad daughter/sister if I didn't make the sacrifice and do the heavy lifting even if the situation was not mine to lift.

This expectation of me being all things to all people began years ago, even before I finished junior high. When I was finally a young adult, I got saddled with responsibilities of people, family, that was not my responsibility to take on.  The burden of other people's demands on me have left resentment, grief, and regret. None of which I should be carrying around with me. 

That is what happens when an abusive authority figure creates a world of pressure and domination that is mistaken for love. No child at any age should have to be ridiculed or debased to achieve someone else's ends. All that I could have been has been swept away with years as age and illness has set upon me.

But I must remember on my journey to enlightenment, that that is the past. I am in the present. I can learn from the past but not carry it into my future. For the future is a much happier place without having to burden myself with other people's failures.

So I have learned, I am me. I am happy with me. I am happy for what I have and who I have in my life. Tomorrow is always a better day. Hope, love, and happiness live there. That's where I want to be.

Won't you join me?

Have a great and wonderful day!!!