Life Would Be More Fun, If We All Had BoxesTo Play In

I received my online order today, a few days earlier which I am grateful for, and the cats are just loving it! The box, not the content. I'm sure if they could use DVDs and dehydrated mashed potatoes, they would love those too!

I went and did my grocery stopping today. I rather buy organic red potatoes but it's just too much money for me. Plus I have to eat them NOW! or they go to waste after a week. So I found these packets of potatoes at my health food store... so worth it! I wish they were organic and red potatoes but beggars cannot be choosers sometimes.

I need to back up my files on my system. I broke down and spent some money on DVD media. Now I can get organized, well, digitally anyway. 

When I returned from the store I could not find one of my eight month old kittens... I even called a friend for advice because I tried everything: calling her, handing out treats, banging the food can... nothing! I waited two hours for her to show her furry buttsky! 

I nearly had a nervous breakdown. These are inside cats. They are not hunters. 

Don't get me wrong, they do hunt in the house: bugs, the bath tub stopper, my drinking straws, my activated charcoal mask, and my plastic stirring sticks. They do a lot of hunting while I am asleep. 

But it's not food. 

I on the other hand am a successful hunter. I hunt my food where it is: the grocery store. And, I am good at it!

I did all right at the store with my mask on. A cute little boy whispered to his grandmother why was I wearing the mask. So cute. I took the mask off and showed it to him. I told him it was all right to ask. I explained that my lungs cannot be around smoke or perfume or cologne so the mask keeps me from having asthma attacks. He looked to be around 5 to 7 years old. I hope he was okay with that. 

Then I got into a cab that the driver just ate a peanut granola bar. The smell about suffocated me. My asthma kicked into high gear and my throat started closing in. Not a fun experience trying to get home.  i toughed it out and drank my vitamin c packets on the way home but it was a close one. 

If you work in the public, don't eat peanut butter when you are going to be in direct contact afterward, it would save at least ten percent of the population from anaphylaxis.

Actually, I believe one of my old friends will not come to see me because she lives on peanut butter. That's fine and all but there's a fungus in peanuts that attacks the liver. I know it's cheap but is it worth your health in the long run? Almond butter is so much better for you. 

Plus it doesn't set my immune system off. 

I think the B Complex 50 is helping in that arena. I didn't totally have a panic attack in the cab. I had a partial one and my reaction was more subdued than usual. That is a good thing.

I was never allergic to peanut butter before I got sick. I told my mother never to bring into the house especially after the black mold exposure because of the fungus in peanuts issue. I would wonder why my face and neck would swell up inside, my breathing would become dangerously tight, and my body would just collapse in on itself... until one day I caught my mother eating peanut butter in the house. I told her no more. So she did it again and again, and again. Now, my body equates the fungus in peanut butter with black mold exposure. Thanks! 

 I have to be so careful now. I cannot eat out in restaurants even in an emergency. I have to stay away from any place that uses peanut oil. It's just a mess. 

What a wonderful way to support your daughter and thank her for buying a house and keeping you off the streets. Such a gem. 

Okay enough drudging up the past for today. I have my mashed potatoes, my kitties, and my television show coming up here in a moment. I may have black memories of the past that still affect me today, but I can chose to talk about them and then move on. I rather be grateful I have all my babies safe here with me than spend anymore energy on that peanut situtation.

Well at least for today. 

Because you know I'll have to go out in a cab and meet the public soon enough and brave the dangers of a society that does not see what it is doing to itself or others. 

What a bummer.

I think I too need a box of my own to play in. 

Awake and Determined

I got up late this morning... hehehe! 

I'm not used to being able to sleep past my expiration date. When others used to live with me, They were determined to "bomb" me out of bed. Hey, I pay the bills, then let me sleep in. 

As for the feline compatriots, I make sure I fill up the food dishes before heading off to sleep. If I forget to do so, when my alarm goes off for my medication in the morning is when a pile of cats ends up on my bed. Luckily, I have a squirt bottle near my bed so there is rarely any ruckus but it's hard to sleep until my last alarm with eyes staring at me.

"Wake up, human! Our bowls are almost empty!" Emphasis on the almost. What a bunch of brats! 

So now I am going to get out of bed, I've already had my cocoa mocha, and do a load of laundry and dishes. I like cleaning up before I have to do a grocery run because I like a clean kitchen and refrigerator to put my produce and other food stuffs in and away.

I'm trying to buy only food in the outer isles of the grocery. No more boxed or poisoned foods. I've had my fun in the last year, now it's time to reintegrate into the synergistic diet I like being on. It's a combination Chinese medicine and eating for your blood type, which serves me well. I'm not saying there won't be a cake mix or PF Chang's, I'm saying I am making the switch over to a better diet. 

I feel better with meats, veggies, and fruits. I try to stay away from GMO's and artificial anything. Bodies need nutrition, not chemical soups! No wonder America is so ill. Switch your diet and be amazed how you will start feeling better in the coming years.

It's not an overnight fix. You have to clean out your pipes first so go see a Naturopath or Homeopath for a diet that cleans, rejuvenates, and adds quality to your life. Trust me, junk food and sodas mean nothing if you're too sick in bed to do anything at all.

So I am awake and determined to be healthier than I have been in the past several years, maybe even the last forty, as long as I stay away from chemicals in the food, air, and water as well as mold and fungi everywhere else! 

... and I am awake ;) 

Imperfection is the New Perfection

Perfection, everyone seeks it. No one attains it. Not really.

I tried to be perfect once and almost caught that tiger's tail. I tried to be everything to everyone all the time. I would go home and sit with my computers emotionally exhausted. I would try once again to be an artist, poet, speaker, and writer that was perfect. 

Now that I can't remember what day it is and that I have been betrayed by practically everyone in my past, I don't care about perfect anymore. I am more into living in the moment. The here and now and happiness is better than any perfection I could ever have found. 

Why be something you are not? Peer pressure? Social psychology? 

Or, waste of time?

Trust me, it's a total waste. Why waste covering up the jewel of who you are on swines who can never appreciate it? Be a diamond in the rough that is shining yourself up for a better future. 

I'm glad I am not trying to be perfect anymore. Hell my illness won't allow it anyway. The best I could ever hope for is to be happy, healthy, and successful. 

If I was a perfection freak, I would be getting my kitties groomed instead of letting them play in the bathtub. What is the allure of an empty bathtub? I'll never know. 

As to the people from my past who have stuck by me learning and growing into the person I am today, and believe me, it wasn't pretty, I really appreciate and adore all of you.

Have a great and wonderful day!

Cat People and the Hunger Games

The new cat that adopted me outside and lives in my yard/garage, well, I named her Abreen.

We had a cold front move through yesterday and we have had cooler temperatures. This morning, Abreen begged for food and rubbed against my leg. which is a first. I petted her without getting hissed at, another first, and felt how emaciated she was.

Underneath her long and matted coat is skin and bones, it's so terrible. I hate kitties that are starving to death. No wonder she sticks around my yard. She probably doesn't have the energy to roam that far.

How horrible.

I guess from her behavior this morning she now considers me a friend. The rest of the hoard still stay back probably from her hissing and growling during dinner time in the past. Again, I don't blame her. Although, I am still guessing about her gender. Time will tell.

I picked a unisex name for her: Breen. Then I added the A prefix because I do believe she is a she. If not, she responds to Breen, so not harm done. 

I began calling her Abreen a few days ago. I guess she thought that if I am calling her a name then that means she is welcome and safe. Cats are strange and wonderful creatures. If you send out the right energy, then you have a friend for life. If you don't, well, I guess you are not a cat person. 

I like dogs too but I'm allergic to the ones that shed and dogs are too much for me right now. I can't devote walking time or fetch time outside. So cats are better than dogs at this juncture. 

I do hate finding animals that are hungry. I surmise that if Abreen had not come to my home when she did; she would be dead somewhere right now. Just makes me sick. 

No one, human or animal, should play a real life hunger games. There is enough food in the world to go around, no matter what the television or government says. [Clean and safe] Food like water and air are rights. 

It's just too bad corporations and some people don't see it that way. If you refuse someone any of those three necessities, then people die. Isn't that considered murder? Don't we as a species have a moral obligation to others of our kind and to this planet?

Food for thought...

Black Cat Fever Goes to the Dogs

My Bombay named Riley Skye loves to play fetch. She brings me her little toys and wants me to throw them so she can bring them back... over and over again.

For those who do not know, Bonbays are black cats. Super smart, super funny cats. Most people associate black cats with witches, black magick, and bad luck. Far from the truth. 

Bombays are part Birman. So that little bit of Siamese gives them a bonding quality to humans that is beyond compare. Somewhat vocal. Bossy, but fun, Bombays are a delight have around. 

Two of Riley's half sisters from another mother live outside in my garage. Chaun is funny always butting my hand when I try to give her dry food, so it goes everywhere. Samika is  beautiful and large, about twelve pounds!  Sweet as can be too. 

These cats are athletic with short dark chocolate fur that is silky and shiny. 

If you have never been owned by a Bombay, I highly recommend it. You will never be without a larger than life personality in the house. Or a watchful eye as you take a shower.

Now to hide her toys so she won't want to play "fetch" at two and three in the morning! hahaha!

Have a great night.    

Outgrowing the need for love? It's exhausting

That vitamin powder must be working, I vacuumed and swept today while I had a load of towels and dishes going in the other rooms. I like days like today. Once and a while, chronic fatigue takes a sick day and I am able to be a normal person for a few hours. 

Then, of course, I end up in bed for a few days recovering from the sudden burst of energy. Even the positive days become damned if you do or damned if you don't, but that's what happens with chronic illness.

I have a new cat outside and here I am trying to adopt out some eight month old, spayed and neutered kittens. Lovely bunch, but too much for me to handle any more, physically and financially. Sometimes I think the universe likes to play sick jokes on people in an vain attempt at cosmic humor. Dude, I'm not laughing... I have plenty of cats already. Stop it.

This is supposed be an old folks home, not Cattery 101. 

I guess the universe knew I needed some love and a family of my own. I love them all very dearly. Unfortunately there comes a time when the babies must leave the nest. I'm afraid mine have all outgrown my place and need somewhere of their own. 

Like all caretakers, if you love them, you must set them free. I'll have to begin the depressing process of finding homes for my little creatures. Then I will have empty nest syndrome after the house goes quiet.

I'll mope. I'll cry. I'll wonder why I am unloved and alone...

Then the universe will send me a new batch and you know I cannot say "no" to baby kitties.

What am I ever going to do with myself? 

Have a great and wonderful evening!    

No Country for Old Women

So I had a crappy morning. Terrible nightmares will make anyone a little grumpy, but I soon found someone the universe sent to me as recompense: an old cat.

S/he has now decided that s/he too is going to live in my garage with the other kitties. Everything is fine until food time then this new cat growls while s/he eats. Poor kitty. 

I shush the kitty so my others will eat. All except for Irene, my cats have not been aggressive with their meals as they know I hand out equally from the can. Irene has since become quiet when she eats. 

However I went inside and got a second can to feed everyone and give some more to this new dark gray and black with long hair cat. S/he looks old. S/he should be in a home with an old woman watching television with s/he on her lap.

I'll wait awhile before attempting a stroke to see if the new cat is skin and bones or not. S/he sppears rather healthy albeit beat up and scared.

I guess that's how it is in the world these days. It's not a place for old women especially if you are a homeless cat. 

The universe decided I should shrug off the evil of my former life because it's really not my burden to carry and showed me that I am needed even just to give that TLC I am so famous for to the underprivileged felines of the neighborhood.

Have a great and wonderful evening!

The Sweetest Things in Life Aren't Always Sugar Filled

I went to the doctor's today. Just a routine check up. Get weighed, have my lungs heard, blood pressure taken, and my one lowly prescription refilled.

Ah, the joys of chronic illness! 

I love it especially when my body decides to wake me up at 4am to catch the 730am ADA bus ride. My Central Nervous System (CNS) is forever damaged thanks to pesticides and black mold. Even on the bus my CNS likes to have a spaz. A little bump in the road or a little too much G-force and cue the panic attacks.

Really? My CNS needs a new hobby. This one is tiresome! 

Good thing I can anticipate what my body likes to do and I get out my Vitamin C packets. I drink a few of those tangerine flavored yummies and shazam! All better! 

When I returned home, I was very tired. So as I was eating brunch, a friend called. We gabbed until I could not keep awake any further. I went into my room and fell asleep.

Almost 5 hours later... I realized the cats had not been fed!  The sun was down but they were still resting on my couches, told you they like my living room furniture! So I fed them, took some meds, watched some tv, ate dinner, and now before I turn off reality one last time today, I have to enter a post on my blog.

It's good exercise for my brain. I still have my issues like: typing the wrong words, misspelling words, writing fragmented sentences, and not quite using the shift key with a corresponding letter to make capitals adequately so I have to redo the letter over and over again until I get the intended capitalization.

Frustrating really when I remember a time that my brain-hand-eye coordination did not have so many idiosyncrasies.

In the last year, I have managed to re-obtain some of my better vocabulary words. So if you see $50 words, I am not being a bore. I am applying what I thought I had lost for so many years. 

Use it or lose it!

And I have got to lose some weight. I am not huge, but I am not where I want to be. I guess I really am going to have to cut out more sweets... damnit! I love chocolate. If I do not have chocolate, I am a scary, irritable person. 

So removing the carbs it is! hahaha!!! I like a paleo/atkins diet anyway so getting back to it should be no problem if I can still squeeze some treats here and there into the mix. I learned long ago that you cannot deprive yourself, but you cannot be a glutton either!

Okay, I am done for real this time. Stick a fork in me! Off to bed and dreams of a better future. One where I don't have to be so structured and wary. One in which I am once again free to roam wherever my spirited heart shall take me.

Have a gloriously good night!

Home Alone for the Holidays

That is one thing that upsets me about the holidays. Since I am chronically ill and no one wants to help me out: I am home alone for the holidays.

I have always been ultra responsible. Clean. Non-smoker. No drugs. No alcohol. 

I have taken care of everyone one else including their messes. When the tables were turned, good bye! and good luck! 

Even now I take care of other people's cats in the neighborhood. The man next door trapped and spayed a mother cat and her three babies. Then he stopped caring for them. One was so skinny and sickly, I scrounged up some food to give to her. Another sibling was ill and I had to give her up, my service cat, to the Humane Society to fix up and adopt out. (I so mourn for her everyday.) 

Then there's the man's renter. A drug addict with AIDS who doesn't help me out even when I demanded him to do so. I am left holding the bag and his grey, long-haired Russian Blue calico cat.

Four, 16lb bags of dry cat food, five bags of natural litter, and sixty cans of wet food a month to keep up everyone's cats on the block. Perhaps I should start a donation site and link it here so I can see if anyone can help me before I have to send half away to the Humane Society. I just cannot keep up.

So as I lay here in bed trying to stay warm, I am alone. The cats I do have inside love sleeping on my couches. They are great couches by the way, which I cover with towels. 

When my family left me, they left me with nothing. Literally. I had a bed, desk, computer chair. I believe that was all. They took everything else in the house including the appliances. 

My family was trying to further debase, torture, and punish me for being chronically and devastatingly ill. Part of which was their fault. They made me ill with black mold from a leaky sink. 

After not telling me for two years of the leak, I had to call for a handyman while I was trying to recover from the pesticide poisoning from my former employer... I was not a well woman to be doing anything. So my family left the black mold to grow in the particle board for seven months after I fixed the leak.

By the way, it takes less than an hour to remove the particle board from a sink cupboard... but that was too much to ask of my family.

By then, I was skeletal, allergic to practically everything because my immune system was already collapsed from the mercury poisoning. It just keeps getting better and better, doesn't it?

My inheritance was also confiscated by my family as I guess payment of taking care of me when I had taken care of them for over ten years. My bills apparently weren't as important as their bills. 

So I am here. I should probably get out my copy of Home Alone just to cheer me up. Well, that's if I still have it and it too wasn't already confiscated like so many of my other possessions were. 

OMG, how depressing... I must find something good.

I did get furniture eventually when I received my disability. I discovered I didn't have to go into chemical laden stores to shop for furniture. I was so happy! 

I found a furniture store across town that was an outlet of sorts. I got a beautiful two-tone dining table, six chairs, a couch, and sofa for a very reasonable price. Good furniture too. I believe it is called Ashley Signature Furniture. Of course, I paid the close-out prices! I didn't have much to spend. 

I did find another online store with discounted furniture and got a wonderful bedroom set. I never had a bedroom set before. It's the warm dark cherry wood. 

Okay, I turned the bad into good. Wheew! That was a close one. 

So I better go harass my kitties, steal one to watch a movie with me as I cannot wait to sleep to see if Sugar Plums really do dance in our heads!

Have a great and wonderful night! 

P.S... my Home Alone dvd is missing ;(

Have a Very, Merry Spring?

Today it was warm. Tomorrow and the rest of this week will be in the lower 70's. Yippee! 

Since I am chronically ill, my body cannot regulate its own temperature that well. Anything below 90 and I am breaking out the winter wear. As long as the house gets warm during autumn and winter afternoons, I am pretty well set to do some household chores. 

Then as the sun sets, I take a shower and jump into bed. The cats get fed on or before dusk until the warmer temperatures of spring hit. 

Right now as I type this post from my heavily blanketed bed, my feet are ice cold, my fingers tingle, my head hurts, and my eyesight is blurry. I do need new glasses but it's the roving migraine that I contend with nearly daily that puts pressure on the optic nerve and creates this vision problem.

Could be worse. I could have not learned to touch type and this post would be unreadable. I also increase the magnification on the pages so I can read bigger lettering. The red underlines of typing errors helps too.

As our weather stabilizes and we remain warm and dry, I will be getting to more of my house as the days commence. An hour of housework can create a happy area of cleanliness. 

When the 90's return. so will the cleaning of the area rugs. I don't have carpet or tile because I am allergic to the chemicals. I have carefully laid out rugs. Vacuuming them does produce a breathing reaction even with my carbon mask on, but in the winter it is a necessity.

But it sure does not feel like winter, which is fine by me. The last few winters have been very cold with hard freezes and bushes being burned back. Not a fun sight. I rather have a mild winter so the humming birds can drink the nectar from my Golden Dew Drops' violet and white flowers. 

So this week is a very, merry spring. 

And no... you can keep your snow. I lived in Iowa before and you can still keep the snow. I live in the desert and I am happy.

Have a great one!