Death and Other Expectations

The last 24 hours have been rough.

A friend who battled against breast cancer passed away yesterday afternoon when her tumor ruptured. What a shock.  I knew her time was near but she was not letting on about it. 

A year prior I helped translate her medical scan review. I knew what she was up against. I knew. 

We had also discussed a DNR, do not resuscitate. 

On the way to the hospital her heart stopped in the ambulance and she closed her eyes in peace. She had lost too much blood, probably from internal bleeding. She was not resuscitated.

Even though I have environmental illness, heavy metal poisoning and black mold infection, which the latter is akin to cancer, I can relate to the shock of an ill person's death. The hours wind down. You can see the failings, the set backs. You see them, but can say nothing. 

Then their impending death becomes a natural part of your landscape. Almost how yours has faded into the back of your friend's minds as well. Death will come. Death becomes an unexpected expectation. 

For some, death comes earlier than others. 

So thank you for being my friend. I will always cherish our time together arguing over politics. Who will I argue with now?

And, I will see you, when I see you.

Another Sad Day, Alan Rickman Dies

One more for the heavens as cancer has taken an actor this time,

Alan Rickman's most memorable characters


Source: CNN

A Sad Day in Music History

RIP David Bowie...

Bob Ross: Christmas Eve Snow

Bob Ross.

The name invokes paint and PBS in the memories of those who loved to watch him paint every week. He left us many, many gifts of joy on canvas. Here is one for Christmas Eve:

For the video and the article to this image: visit the VDP Gazette.

The rest of us can reimagine a world with him in it. Miss you, my friend.

Have a safe and wonderful holiday season.

Paying It Forward

Every once and awhile, we come across a creative and generous soul that is selfless, honorable, and compassionate.

Too often in our current time, we find ourselves surrounded by people of faith and wealth that are neither solvent in their hearts as they are not faithful to their commitment of their own religion. We see these individuals on television telling us what is wrong with the world, who is the convenient scapegoat. These morality imposters cry foul as they take more than we can give and still want more when we are broken.

Common ideas are not what makes her tick. She takes action where others fail humanity. For she follows her own compass: true north to where the soul hides its deepest, darkest horrors, yet she does not falter in the face of challenges. She embraces human fragility and seeks to uplift it. Not many individuals can withstand seeing the earth shattering banality of what humans are capable of doing to one another and remain steadfast in their dreams to correct such negativity.

But, she does.

This illustrates a true spiritual warrior. It is beyond the simple foolishness of faith. It is beyond the idle temptations of corruptions like money, power, or influence. For these depravities are child’s play to someone who understands the working of the inner universe, the inner sanctum of humanity, she is above them.

Yet, she has been called upon to shoulder a huge burden in addition to her endless service: cancer. Sometimes a spirit warrior takes on the ills of the physical world wholeheartedly as part of their soul contract. This symptom is what is cured in others by her courageous heart.

Cancer has manifested in her body in order to keep the darkness from seeping back into the human collective consciousness. In her illness, she again spares us.

Everyone who has come into contact with her knows her true spirit: it is breathtaking. I am honored and humbled just by knowing a person like her exists, but to know her in person can make this writer go speechless.

I think it’s time the currency of faith, hearts, and souls should manifest to take that which she has cured in all of us and we should cure in her. In our act of gratitude, we will not only save her, we save ourselves.

She cannot do conventional cancer treatment for HER2 does not respond to chemotherapy or other conventional protocols. She must use specialized medical care that costs a lot of money and is not covered by any insurance company.

If you could repay this spirit warrior for her service and dedication to humanity with anything that you can spare, please donate to the MJ Christian fund:

http://settingthemfree.org/cause/mary-jo-christian/

Let’s appreciate this spirit warrior while she is still here to receive our gratitude.

Thank you.

RIP Robin Williams

It was a great shock to learn of Robin Williams passing yesterday.

I grew up with his comedy. I watched Mork & Mindy. I saw Mrs. Doubtfire. The fact that he looks very similar to my own father makes this moment a little more difficult to swallow.

I am estranged from my dad. He chose to go on a path I could not follow him on. That is life sometimes.

Today as I celebrate the life of a comedic actor, I also am reminded about how the divisions in families hurt. I'll never get that time back. Just like Mr. Williams's family will not get back the time he stole from them.

No matter how you leave this world, you have to face what you've done in the afterlife and future human life. What you have not learned or ran away from, you will have a redo. A reincarnated life with unresolved issues can be worse than the one you have now.

So suicide is pointless. 

Suicide creates holes in people's hearts. It creates blame and sorrow. It's just a negative act that keeps impacting others long after you are gone. 

I know your soul makes a pact before you are born, but I say it is a choice. 

Remember, suicide is never the answer. It makes the world a less better place because of it. If he had stage 4 cancer, my opinion would be different. However he was vibrant, well respected, and accomplished, Mr. Williams' you will be missed.

Thank you our friend and entertainer for your devotion to your craft.

Breaks and Unmatching Underwear

To the casual observer, it may look like I have my shit together. Nothing could be farther from the truth. I am a free spirit. 

Sometimes I take a break in the middle of a conversation to deal with other crap for no apparent reason.  First it was my own illness. Then my estranged family thought it wise to mess with me. Now, a friend's health has got me worried.

Sometimes it is not fun to be smart. 

A friend sent me a copy of her doctor's report, blood test and CT scan. Her cancer is now everywhere. Game over. 

Even though I am not a doctor, I know what certain medical terminology means. If I have ever seen the word before or not. I get the jist.

My ability to understand may scare some people. Oh, well, I have got better things to do than worry about a party pooper. The results I read did scare me though. Scared me so much that I called a retired nurse friend to make sure I conveyed the test results correctly to my other friend. 

I knew before I called her. I knew so much I had a meltdown in my house. Good thing I live alone these days.

Now I am in the sad and unique position to tell a friend to stop. Stop her life and get her affairs in order. To have a quick bucket list and go for it. She thinks she has about six months. I don't give her that. I say more like 60 days. 

So to everyone who thinks they have time. Screw it. Live how you want to live as long as it does not harm anyone else. Take that vacation. Wear underwear that does not match your other unmentionables. 

Life is too short. 

So go live it.