Saturday, January 18, 2014

Roller Coaster Rides of Depression and Healing

Up and down. High and low. Welcome to the wonderful world of the detox process. 

I began a new vitamin, mineral, and amino acid powder a while back. I went on a high where I felt alive and well. Now I'm in the detox stage. 

Energy has given way to lethargy. Happiness has faded into depression. And bad dreams and thoughts have worsened.

I am hoping I get over the tough road soon. 

I did get some B complex vitamins ordered. I only hope they help with my energy level. If I have to be fatigued, then let it be most of the day, not all of it. I have stuff to do and I would like to have my chores done instead of thinking about doing them. 

Depression and chronic fatigue together are a mighty assault on my will. 

I do have a formidable will too. After the repeated abuse and poisonings, I wouldn't be hear if there wasn't a reason. If I wasn't so damn onry. If I didn't have a will.

Nothing in life has ever come easy to me. I have worked very hard to get everything I have. Sometimes I wish I could have a respite from the madness of the world, but that just leads to complacency. 

If I am anything, it surely is not complacent.

I am always searching, researching what life is all about. What the universe really is. Why I am here?

Everyone has these questions, but most others are satisfied with religious systems that are there to confine their souls to man made dogma, not to inspire imagination or creativity. 

I want to be inspired. I want to be free. I want to soar!

Isn't there something you want to do?

Maybe it's time to break the chains of society,find what inspires you, and ride a roller coaster of your own making with your destiny in mind.  Trying is not failing, failing to try is. 

Have a great ride!