When people do not understand chronic, disabling illnesses, they tend to say the stupidest phrases.
"If you take a shower and exercise, you'll feel better."
That sentence is one that was thrown at me several times. If you have chronic fatigue, neither one of those suggestions are going to work very well, now are they? So my family forced me to exercise by cooking my own food and doing chores. God forbid I was disabled by a terrible illness. I should get up and do for the household since I no longer could bring in a wage.
That is the most irresponsible, immature attitude ever.
I do not know how people justify this type of behavior on people who are ill. I have lived through some horrific experiences that I will not soon forget. How can I when the nightmares wake me?
People believe that if you do not strike a person that no abuse has been committed. That is not true. Some people believe what you have endured, you should just get over it. Stop throwing yourself a pity party.
Yet, these same people will be upset if someone does them wrong. In cases like mine, my life was threatened and placed in danger on a continual basis. It is quite different then a perceived slight.
I may never be well and never "get over" my traumatic experiences with apathetic caregivers, but the drive to find well being will always be in my mind. For the best revenge is living well. I still have years to go before I reach that apex, but I have hope and determination to reach that goal.
What I like to do to diffuse the negative impacts of the past is to help others, educate others about how not to behave toward the chronically ill. I also like to take those emotions and dedicate them to writing, not the pity party people would like to foment.
After a nightmare or situation that manifests those terrible memories, I like to create digital art, write the back story to some evil foe, or write an emotive and engaging poem.
Just because I have been abused and left for dead does not mean I have to carry the burden. Yes, I have low times and I do not trust others as I once did, but I do not run around with a pity party sign either. As a human, I have to touch the world a few times a month for food and supplies. I have had to learn to deal with others as compatriots and not combatants.
I may have survived the battles, but does anyone truly win the war?
Be kind to those people with a disability or illness if you understand or not. Sometimes the best support you can give someone is being present of mind and body. Would it harm you to have a board game night with your home bound neighbor?
Have a wonderful but thoughtful night.