Saturday, February 8, 2014

Look, Dawn, No Paws

One of my outdoor felines is a big, beautiful, and sweet Bombay.

She has this loving heart that just melts you with her serene glance. For an outside cat, spayed, but ready to rumble when necessary, she is really nice. She seems to adore me.

She also seems to disappear on me every once and a while. I don't know why. I don't know why... She usually returns with a few pounds shed and very happy to be home. 

Yeah, let's make me crazy screaming for you three or four times a day!

It's either that or she gets trapped inside a garage or takes an unexpected ride in a vehicle. I don't know. I'm just glad she is home safe. 

When a cat disappears on me, I always wonder if they went to die alone and I didn't catch the signs. Or if one was harmed in another yard and has expired. I know it's their way to go die alone, but I rather have them die in my arms. It's just my way.

At least I know they were well taken care of and they can be cremated with dignity at the local vet. And, no, I do not keep the ashes. I cannot do it. It would make me mourn too much. So I let them go with their friends. 

If a kitty wants to come back to me in their circle of reincarnation, I always let them know they are welcomed back. Right now, I believe I have two reincarnated kitties with me. One is a gray tabby with cream calico markings.  She reminds me of my childhood cat, but this go around, there is no anger in the house, so she is very sweet-natured. The other one is my lynx colorpoint shorthair. He loved me on day one. The first week I would take the kittens out of the bathroom while their mother slept to get them acclimated to a human household for adoption. Well, he never screamed or begged to be taken back to mom. He would spend thirty minutes or more cuddled on my chest until he was hungry again. He reminds me of the Himalayan that died of the same mold illness I struggle with everyday. Since he could not be on the bed with me, he would sleep directly beneath me on the floor under my head and talk to me. 

The day he was put to sleep because of his illness shattered me. My sister took his paw prints, from the vet's crematory practice of sending a card with the prints to the owner, without my permission. That can never be forgiven. That's just cruel. 

Now that I'm all wet. The two cats I believed are reincarnated are here with me. The calico on my pillowed lap. The lynx on my foot watching me type. It's so nice to have my little family to comfort me when I am upset. 

Oh, boy, it's late. Dinner in ten. 

Before I go to sleep later, I'll have that reoccurring thought that will make me smile: I wonder what the cats will do to make me bat shit crazy again tomorrow? I know in their way that's amore! 

I hope whatever type of pet you have that you love them as much as they love you.

Nighty night, Cyber friends


A Voice for Your Generation

I've been writing for my local newspaper and my own blog for a little while now. 

I have learned to balance the needs of the community with my own. What I cannot cover, I make sure to link to independent news episodes in order to keep everyone current. Or, if I need some time off because my brain is fried or I am: a video it is!

On a personal blog, it's not that easy. I have to write something, right? Something!

I got to thinking: where are the voices of my generation? Where the hell are all the Gen Xers anyway? Did they all succumb to corporate and family life? What happened to our rebellious spirit?

Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one out here. That thought led me to the epiphany: I have become the voice I've been searching for. An odd statement for sure, but a true one.

It's not an ego statement. I am doing that job here and with the Gazette. I finally found my voice. 

It shouldn't be a voice for a generation; it should be voices. Where is your voice on the current state of affairs in politics, government, medicine, health, food/water/air safety? Where are you?

You don't have to be Generation X to get a blog, website, youtube channel or the like. 

Just start saying something. Anything. Be the voice you have been waiting for. It feels good to make a difference in the world.

So what topic makes you verbal? Speak out. Live out loud. It's not too late to become that person your teenage self always wanted you to be. An idealist. A commentator. A rebel. 

A role model.

Be the change you want to see in the world and the world will change to meet you. I've had it happen to me. Stories gravitate to me. When you are on your right path, everything falls into place.

Now to finish my fiction and nonfiction books... then we'll be getting somewhere there too!

Sick, well, or in between, you can make this world a better place. Trust me. The universe is on your side when your heart is pure and you love what you're doing. 

So go out and be: A Voice for Your Generation.

Have a great and wonderful weekend!

Friday, February 7, 2014

Taking a Stand

I've add a new banner to my blog. One I hope everyone will put on their website and blog. It is important to let the world know that we will not put up with mass surveillance.

I hear excuses of: well, if you aren't doing anything wrong...

That's an immature response. The idea is freedom from this type of mass intrusion. The government is NOT allowed to watch anyone without due process of law and a warrant signed by a judge showing probable cause. 

No more secret laws, secret courts, secret charges. Enough is enough. The secrecy has to stop!

It's against the law. It's against the Constitution. It's against the Bill of Rights.

Therefore the government and private corporations are stealing from you. It's called theft. 

It's not for national security because the more information that is collected and stored places your nation's security in more jeopardy, not less. 

So if you love liberty irregardless of lame excuses, then please join me in protesting the illegal acts perpetrated by our government on innocent people for power and control.

Be the hero of your own life: save privacy and freedom!

Thursday, February 6, 2014

Construction! Watch for Falling Stuff

I am revamping a few items on my blog and website. The blog will still be active.

I hope I have everything running smoothly again by the end of the weekend!

Thank you!!!

Coming Out of the Closet

No, not me! hahahaa! My cat! My cat!

My family took off my closet doors so I have curtains hanging there instead. My linx colorpoint shorthair believes that hiding in my curtains is a game. No matter how many times I squirt him. It's all fun and games to him! 

As for my closet doors, my family did as an incompetent but world renown naturopath said, like seven months later, to remove the carpet and everything from my room so I would stop "reacting, " which is code for stop complaining about my neglect and abuse. A couple of fine points here: when you don't clean the rest of the house, the air conditioner brings in the crap from the outside of the room into the so-called "sanctuary" that was supposed to be set up. 

Incompetence.

Then there is the matter of my clothing. My family took all of the clothing in my closet put them in plastic bags or containers and set it all outside in the back yard under my fabric gazebo. I'll let you catch up... Heat and moisture built up inside the plastic and molded most of my clothing. The clothing that wasn't molded was used by the outside vermin to live in. I discovered clots of hair, vomit, urine, and feces. 

Incompetence. 

So several thousand dollars worth of clothing was destroyed and here my sister threatened me over her beloved concert Tshirts. Yet it was okay to destroy my entire wardrobe. 

My siblings wonder why people hand me responsibility and not them. 

The closet doors were also set outside to mold. So I had to throw those away, hence the curtains. I bought some nice curtains too. I cannot paint so I did the next best thing. 

My family did a little more than destroy clothing and some closet doors, they pretty much vandalized my house and then left me with nothing. Again, the reason other family members leave me in charge of their affairs or projects, I respect other people's wishes. My family just does whatever the hell they please and walks away as if they have done nothing wrong. 

Actually they go around blaming others for their actions... so I am glad I can play squirt the kitty rather than having more of my personal items stolen or damaged. Yeah, they did steal from me too. 

It's amazing what people will rationalize when they are the ones doing wrong to someone else, especially when they made that person sick, wouldn't face up to their responsibility and then left a 90 pound person all alone in a house so they did not have to deal with me anymore. 

I'm telling you these things because I never want it to happen to another ill person again. If you mess up, make it right. Don't just throw a person in their bedroom and threaten them if they speak out about the conditions they're living in. Do the right thing: get help for yourself so you can make a bad situation into a manageable one.

As for me, I'm doing so much better than I ever thought I could because complete strangers stepped in and got me on the road to recovery. One simple email and some phone calls. My family could have done these actions years before if they were interested in making me well. They weren't. They were playing the sympathy game with everyone on the outside by calling me a psycho. Sorry, I am not. I have a medical condition, not a psychiatric one.

Incompetence. 

The only way to show how morally and ethically bankrupt you are. Please avoid at all costs. It may just save someone else's life.

MCS/EI/Mold and Lyme are severe and critical medical conditions, please show your support by being understanding to someone who is medically ill by not making fum of them, criticizing them, neglecting or abusing them, and not threatening them with institutionalization like I was. 

It's simply a matter of competence.

Have a great and wonderful day.

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Life Would Be More Fun, If We All Had BoxesTo Play In

I received my online order today, a few days earlier which I am grateful for, and the cats are just loving it! The box, not the content. I'm sure if they could use DVDs and dehydrated mashed potatoes, they would love those too!

I went and did my grocery stopping today. I rather buy organic red potatoes but it's just too much money for me. Plus I have to eat them NOW! or they go to waste after a week. So I found these packets of potatoes at my health food store... so worth it! I wish they were organic and red potatoes but beggars cannot be choosers sometimes.

I need to back up my files on my system. I broke down and spent some money on DVD media. Now I can get organized, well, digitally anyway. 

When I returned from the store I could not find one of my eight month old kittens... I even called a friend for advice because I tried everything: calling her, handing out treats, banging the food can... nothing! I waited two hours for her to show her furry buttsky! 

I nearly had a nervous breakdown. These are inside cats. They are not hunters. 

Don't get me wrong, they do hunt in the house: bugs, the bath tub stopper, my drinking straws, my activated charcoal mask, and my plastic stirring sticks. They do a lot of hunting while I am asleep. 

But it's not food. 

I on the other hand am a successful hunter. I hunt my food where it is: the grocery store. And, I am good at it!

I did all right at the store with my mask on. A cute little boy whispered to his grandmother why was I wearing the mask. So cute. I took the mask off and showed it to him. I told him it was all right to ask. I explained that my lungs cannot be around smoke or perfume or cologne so the mask keeps me from having asthma attacks. He looked to be around 5 to 7 years old. I hope he was okay with that. 

Then I got into a cab that the driver just ate a peanut granola bar. The smell about suffocated me. My asthma kicked into high gear and my throat started closing in. Not a fun experience trying to get home.  i toughed it out and drank my vitamin c packets on the way home but it was a close one. 

If you work in the public, don't eat peanut butter when you are going to be in direct contact afterward, it would save at least ten percent of the population from anaphylaxis.

Actually, I believe one of my old friends will not come to see me because she lives on peanut butter. That's fine and all but there's a fungus in peanuts that attacks the liver. I know it's cheap but is it worth your health in the long run? Almond butter is so much better for you. 

Plus it doesn't set my immune system off. 

I think the B Complex 50 is helping in that arena. I didn't totally have a panic attack in the cab. I had a partial one and my reaction was more subdued than usual. That is a good thing.

I was never allergic to peanut butter before I got sick. I told my mother never to bring into the house especially after the black mold exposure because of the fungus in peanuts issue. I would wonder why my face and neck would swell up inside, my breathing would become dangerously tight, and my body would just collapse in on itself... until one day I caught my mother eating peanut butter in the house. I told her no more. So she did it again and again, and again. Now, my body equates the fungus in peanut butter with black mold exposure. Thanks! 

 I have to be so careful now. I cannot eat out in restaurants even in an emergency. I have to stay away from any place that uses peanut oil. It's just a mess. 

What a wonderful way to support your daughter and thank her for buying a house and keeping you off the streets. Such a gem. 

Okay enough drudging up the past for today. I have my mashed potatoes, my kitties, and my television show coming up here in a moment. I may have black memories of the past that still affect me today, but I can chose to talk about them and then move on. I rather be grateful I have all my babies safe here with me than spend anymore energy on that peanut situtation.

Well at least for today. 

Because you know I'll have to go out in a cab and meet the public soon enough and brave the dangers of a society that does not see what it is doing to itself or others. 

What a bummer.

I think I too need a box of my own to play in. 


Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Healing Hands

Before my body would except the new B Complex 50 supplement and two tablespoons of olive oil a day, my hands were cracked, burning, and bleeding. Not a fun combination to have when washing dishes or taking a shower.

But I am healing.

Little by little, I am finding peace and happiness, with that, my body is responding by allowing me to try new ideas, supplements, and healing modalities.

I don't want you to misunderstand, I am really not into forgiveness. Pretty much, it's three strikes and you are out! That means of my life too. Strikes aren't (literally) stepping on my toes by accident or anything mundane. Nothing so childish. The strikes are lying, cheating, stealing, and being disrespectful in a major way that would make prostitutes blush. 

But we all have to have our lines, or we cannot live healthy emotional lives.

There's a metaphor story I heard once that I would like to share in paraphrase form: Two Buddhist monks were walking by the river trying to get to another temple and a woman needed help. One of the monks took the time to go get the woman from the river and carry her safely to land. After walking and walking to reach their destination, the other monk complained that the monk who helped the woman across the river did so against their vows/rules. The  monk replied that he may have carried the woman to shore but the other monk had been carrying her ever since.

So dislike, even hate someone and never forgive them all you like as long as you aren't carrying them.  Their sins should never be your sins.  You should not ever have to make up for or bear any responsibility for other people's bad decisions or issues. 

I know it's against convention, but I think we spend far too much time beating ourselves up for not being able to let go when we really don't have to as long as it does not interfere with the happiness of our lives. 

Then we can go about our business healing, in my case healing my hands. I'll never know who in the future I will have to heal with them, but I know I cannot do any healing as long as I keep ripping open my wounds to try and forgive people who really don't deserve my time or energy. 

... and you thought I was this nice person. Well, I am. I just don't have to pretend I am someone I am not and do things that are against my nature. So I can be happy with myself and heal without guilt. 

Benefit from working on yourself, not wasting your energy on emotional baggage that can be dumped out by the curb. Let the universe handle it. That's what karma is for.

Have a great and wonderful day!!!


Awake and Determined

I got up late this morning... hehehe! 

I'm not used to being able to sleep past my expiration date. When others used to live with me, They were determined to "bomb" me out of bed. Hey, I pay the bills, then let me sleep in. 

As for the feline compatriots, I make sure I fill up the food dishes before heading off to sleep. If I forget to do so, when my alarm goes off for my medication in the morning is when a pile of cats ends up on my bed. Luckily, I have a squirt bottle near my bed so there is rarely any ruckus but it's hard to sleep until my last alarm with eyes staring at me.

"Wake up, human! Our bowls are almost empty!" Emphasis on the almost. What a bunch of brats! 

So now I am going to get out of bed, I've already had my cocoa mocha, and do a load of laundry and dishes. I like cleaning up before I have to do a grocery run because I like a clean kitchen and refrigerator to put my produce and other food stuffs in and away.

I'm trying to buy only food in the outer isles of the grocery. No more boxed or poisoned foods. I've had my fun in the last year, now it's time to reintegrate into the synergistic diet I like being on. It's a combination Chinese medicine and eating for your blood type, which serves me well. I'm not saying there won't be a cake mix or PF Chang's, I'm saying I am making the switch over to a better diet. 

I feel better with meats, veggies, and fruits. I try to stay away from GMO's and artificial anything. Bodies need nutrition, not chemical soups! No wonder America is so ill. Switch your diet and be amazed how you will start feeling better in the coming years.

It's not an overnight fix. You have to clean out your pipes first so go see a Naturopath or Homeopath for a diet that cleans, rejuvenates, and adds quality to your life. Trust me, junk food and sodas mean nothing if you're too sick in bed to do anything at all.

So I am awake and determined to be healthier than I have been in the past several years, maybe even the last forty, as long as I stay away from chemicals in the food, air, and water as well as mold and fungi everywhere else! 

... and I am awake ;) 


Monday, February 3, 2014

Life and the Living Equation

Sometimes there are reasons for things to be the way they are. You can like it or you can hate it, but in the end you are where you are in your life. I am a disabled philosopher, writer, researcher, and journalist, all from the comfort of my disheveled bed.

Then something happens and boom! you're like: what the hell just happened?

Yesterday and today have been those types of days. I got sent a youtube video confirming geoengineering by a former air force officer, then I received another link to a former World Bank lawyer that confirms not only what I had already discovered for myself, but a lot more than I have ever hoped would be confirmed by a whistleblower... especially one with a Yale law degree.

Feeling validated and a bit unnerved when I watched as the derogatory term: conspiracy theorist, finally died.

It's amazing when you tell people the truth and they dismiss you as crazy or a liar. Sorry, but I am none of those negative things. I am bright, investigative, and fun loving. Nothing in my repertoire yells: freak! 

Maybe: cat lady... but not deranged. 

Here's the article I wrote that is a life changer:  If You Want Answers: Follow the Yellow Brick Road

I have seen on my google +'s people think that I am writing another cat or chocolate or pizza piece and give me a +like, which I am grateful for. Then when they read on to see my calls for action or revealing a great mystery or truth, that plus 1 magically disappears. 

Truth, facts are not negative. Even when I am being a total bitch about them. Still not negative because reality is in our faces and we have to deal with it.

Avoiding reality, facts, or the truth and calls for action... no matter what lotus position or meditative state you are in, is negative. You cannot change the world for the better isolated in a room chanting. It's just not doable.

So the next time you see my blog post and believe I am all fluff and no substance... you definitely haven't been keeping up on the world around us. 

Stay turned. Stay informed and rock on...

To view more of my writing please be sure to visit the Villa de Paz Gazette everyday. I have articles, reviews, independent news, movies and documentaries I share. As always, if you like something I write please be sure to google+ or share me on Twitter or Facebook. 

Thank you for your support and positive energy!!!


Sunday, February 2, 2014

Must Love Chocolate

There's nothing more satisfying than chocolate. For those people who do not like chocolate, you do not know what you are missing. It's like caramel but with an addictive quality: caffeine. 

Yes, I know, caffeine will rot your brain. I have seen the studies, but you know what? I don't believe everything that is presented to me by the establishment. Corporations pay to get what they want out into the public eye and I have to wonder why be so glum against chocolate? 

Or coffee? Or caffeine? But it's addictive... so is my middle finger if I use it in the upright position repeatedly by itself like I'm supposed to. ;) 

Is it because your company's product is in need of sales so you dash my antioxidant rush? Shame on you. And the reason I do not put much stock in scientific studies unless they are independent in nature.  

I love my chocolate and I have been craving it lately. That must mean I need some magnesium. Well, chocolate has magnesium, problem solved! 

I guess I should get a cocoa plant. Then I would never be out of stock. Believe me, that's a rough patch in the house when chocolate is MIA. 

 


Imperfection is the New Perfection

Perfection, everyone seeks it. No one attains it. Not really.

I tried to be perfect once and almost caught that tiger's tail. I tried to be everything to everyone all the time. I would go home and sit with my computers emotionally exhausted. I would try once again to be an artist, poet, speaker, and writer that was perfect. 

Now that I can't remember what day it is and that I have been betrayed by practically everyone in my past, I don't care about perfect anymore. I am more into living in the moment. The here and now and happiness is better than any perfection I could ever have found. 

Why be something you are not? Peer pressure? Social psychology? 

Or, waste of time?

Trust me, it's a total waste. Why waste covering up the jewel of who you are on swines who can never appreciate it? Be a diamond in the rough that is shining yourself up for a better future. 

I'm glad I am not trying to be perfect anymore. Hell my illness won't allow it anyway. The best I could ever hope for is to be happy, healthy, and successful. 

If I was a perfection freak, I would be getting my kitties groomed instead of letting them play in the bathtub. What is the allure of an empty bathtub? I'll never know. 

As to the people from my past who have stuck by me learning and growing into the person I am today, and believe me, it wasn't pretty, I really appreciate and adore all of you.

Have a great and wonderful day!