I do but I don't feel like myself. Sometimes I feel more like myself than I ever had in life. Something strange is happening to me.
Brain injury induced by inflammation.
I was reading up on how personality can change because of brain injury. I think I am on that bandwagon. Before my collapse I could be in pollution, except now if I am in chemicals or molds, my Central Nervous System (CNS) gets agitated and I become impatient.
It's like not being in control of you.
I never drank, did drugs or even smoked. I took pretty good care of myself in that respect. i did, however, like the occasional fried foods. I am part Scottish... ;) Anyway, I never liked being out of control of myself. Now that seems to have changed with the brain injury and new exposures to cytotoxins and biotoxins.
I know when I went to the store during the heavy fireplace usage season and the air quality was very poor, like in the unhealthy range, but when you need food; you need food. I could not think. I couldn't check out. I was a mental mess.
I am very smart, but when my brain is exposed to pollution and toxins forget it! I become a bumbling fool. There's nothing I can do about it. My brain is injured.
Multiple Chemical Sensitivity (MCS) by pesticide/mercury poisoning and the filthy air at my former employer (probably molds and fungi too), black mold exposure thanks to family while I had no immune system, and now chemicals sold as everyday use products, my body responded with inflammation. Inflammation (and lack of oxygen) led my brain to be unable to cope with real life.
We haven't even touched on my respiratory (lack of oxygen), circulatory (mitral prolapse), and detoxification (liver and kidneys) systems that are permanently damaged forevermore. I spend $200+ in supplements a month, usually more like $350, because I am allergic to 90% of pharmaceuticals. Forget the lifesaving inhalers for my asthma which has turned into COPD and emphysema. Forget pain relievers or antibiotics. Forget being saved by allopathic medicine.
I have nothing but natural remedies. Those remedies cost money. On a fixed income, nothing comes cheap in that department.
If I had two grand to spend every month on healing, I could get well in half the time. Since reality does not work that way, I should be cured just about the time my heart stops from older age. We'll say in about 20 years.
Well, I won't be cured in 20 years. If I lived it would take another 40 years at least to get back to a normal-er, healthy-ish body. Then again I'll be in my eighties by then so it's kind of a trade-off: illness for old age ailments.
It's weird walking around knowing you were murdered by coworkers and family but haven't died from the illnesses and injuries yet. It is very weird. Who could I possibly talk to that would understand being murdered except another murder victim... okay, eww. I'm not going to the morgue to talk to the dead.
Well, I guess that will be my end of the week sermon.
Stay safe. Throw out all the chemicals you have lying around the house and garage waiting to poison you and your family.
Believe me, those products aren't worth the cost on your health or life.
Have a great weekend!