Undawnted Pages

Saturday, December 21, 2013

What Happiness is About

Joy for some people is strange...

I for one didn't understand what being happy truly meant. When I began this process of meditation and rediscovery, I had never been happy except for a few fleeting moments over the course of my life.

Today, it's different. I like not having the burden of other people's bad deeds to weigh on me... It's not my responsibility to carry other people on my back, in my mind, heart, or soul.

Even the other day, I had to deal with someone who didn't understand what it is to be grateful. The universe has taught me how to deal with people like that and move on... and that's exactly what I did. In my other life, I would have tried to placate them because I was a bad daughter/sister if I didn't make the sacrifice and do the heavy lifting even if the situation was not mine to lift.

This expectation of me being all things to all people began years ago, even before I finished junior high. When I was finally a young adult, I got saddled with responsibilities of people, family, that was not my responsibility to take on.  The burden of other people's demands on me have left resentment, grief, and regret. None of which I should be carrying around with me. 

That is what happens when an abusive authority figure creates a world of pressure and domination that is mistaken for love. No child at any age should have to be ridiculed or debased to achieve someone else's ends. All that I could have been has been swept away with years as age and illness has set upon me.

But I must remember on my journey to enlightenment, that that is the past. I am in the present. I can learn from the past but not carry it into my future. For the future is a much happier place without having to burden myself with other people's failures.

So I have learned, I am me. I am happy with me. I am happy for what I have and who I have in my life. Tomorrow is always a better day. Hope, love, and happiness live there. That's where I want to be.

Won't you join me?

Have a great and wonderful day!!!